


The Family Jewels - I Can't Break The Cycle.

by allisontrash



Category: Marina & the Diamonds
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 14:29:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10618857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allisontrash/pseuds/allisontrash
Summary: lmao i wrote this about what i see on every track on TFJ





	1. Chapter 1

"Are You Satisfied?"

_I was pulling out my hair the day I cut the deal_  
_Chemically calm_  
_Was I meant to feel happy_  
_That my life was just about to change?_

 

I could stand in my room and wait forever, for my life to change. Would it really change if I didn't make it? It wouldn't, not a sliver of a chance. Strings in my mind moved gracefully and fast, but daintily and sharp. Had I changed as I had aged? I left behind who I used to be, and morphed into the dancing figure everyone had come to known. Had I changed, as a child, as a lover, as a relative, as a friend? All I can ask myself is, "Is life what luck has thrown your way, or is it what your hands have created?" Everyday, I'd ask myself. I asked my family, my friends and acquaintances. Scoffs and smacking teeth is all that filled my ears. Staring onto the horizon, driving far away from where my roots had planted, I couldn't bear to look back, I had been taught to look forwards. What is the purpose, the meaning, of life? Is it to follow your heart's content or to let the waves form your ways? Is it to spend your life in a deep, deep depression? To find beauty in the cracks and crevices or to become a hermit?

 

I had changed so much from the person I used to be. A bright, smiling child, into an emotionally complex teenager. It's amazing how other people have changed my viewpoint, how they've created diamonds out of coal. You could be so ignorant, and not realize it.

 

My eyes fluttered behind their lids, and searched the sky for a star to tell me the true meaning. I trembled under the sensation of cold city air, filling my lungs and opening my orbs. 

 

_Welcome to life._


	2. Chapter 2

"Shampain"

_Drinking champagne,_ _made by the angel_

_Who goes by the name of Glittering Gabriel_

_Drinking champagne made of an angel's_

_Tears and pain, but I feel celestial_

 

 

 

Bright blue mascara ran down my glittery black party dress. I had been crying, obviously. Why? Because I'm lousy and lonely. I watched the blue tears fall down my tan cheeks and I licked my dry lips. My pink lipstick was gone, probably because I'd been wiping my face on t-shirts. I walked around my shitty apartment, in four inch bright magenta high heels.  Trying to calm myself down, I walked around trying to find something to eat. After realizing I didn't buy groceries this week, I sighed and licked my lips again. I walked back to my room, and sat down on my bed. White feathers stained with red wine, mascara tears, champagne, chocolate and nail polish. I told myself I wouldn't cry on the day I turned seventeen. But oh God, I sobbed. I cried so hard I could feel it in my throat. Everyone had grown to know me as the spoiled daughter, selfish sister or selfless friend. When I was younger, my mother loved piano. But she couldn't play. She had lost four fingers - two on her left and two on her right. Daddy would call her a cripple, and she'd scrunch up her pale face. Daddy used to love my mother, he'd do anything to make her happy. But he stopped acting like that. He would push me around, hit me, throw things at me, yell at me. My mother would watch, eyes solemnly grazing mine.

 

"Now, how did you get a black eye?" he said, gripping my shoulders. 

  
"I fell down the stairs, sir. I'm clumsy, I get it from my mother," I said, choking back tears. 

"Good girl. Now go to your room."  
  


The past made me cringe. I began to cry even harder. My boyfriend left me, my mother died, I lost my job and I lost my friends.

I laughed, holding back tears. I clumsily walked into the kitchen, grabbing the three bottles of champagne on the counter. 

 

It seemed like I finally made a friend - even if his name was Glittering Gabriel.

 


End file.
